work in progress

it's been a strange and tumultuous two weeks...I feel very...unrooted.
my schedule has been a bit funked up (a new term i've invented!), and again, I had penned in too much for me to handle...even when those things are supposed to be "fun". :)

perhaps that's why I haven't been writing! hahaha...but I'm excited to tell the world about what I'm working on right now...so tell the world, I will! (Or, you know...the 10 people who read this blog...)

last week, I was telling my producer/host/mentor extraordinaire about my childhood frustrations with amy tan's "the joy luck club". I suppose I went into it expecting to relate to the characters...after all, I thought - this was MY story, in a sense...being a Chinese North American immigrant.
But alas, I hated it. It felt so fake and overdramatic...I thought: these are not my stories, my parents' stories, or my grandparents' stories...

From then on, I would look at every novel about Chinese immigrants in North America with a particularly critical eye...and I have yet to find something that relates to me. The closest I've come is Ruth Ozeki's My Year of Meats...and her portrayal of Jane as a "hybrid" of sorts...not quite Japanese, but not quite American either. A bit of a mess.

This whole discussion sparked an idea for radio...I'm going to try and put together a panel of authors who write about Asian immigrants in Canada/U.S, and talk about how they go about conceptualizing cultural identity in their books. During the creative process, are there fears of just fostering stereotypes? How do you go about determining how your characters speak and act in this very specific context?

Needless to say, I'm excited. And for those of you who loved "The Joy Luck Club", feel free to express your anger towards me in the comments section. :)

drive

it's pretty easy to overlook news items, but something really struck me today as I listened to the news.

From the Globe and Mail:
In her submissions yesterday, lawyer Catherine Boies Parker argued that homeless people should have the right to erect makeshift shelters and sleep in public places when other accommodations are unsuitable or unavailable.

"This [bylaw] is an absolute ban on any shelter anywhere in the city and we say that's unconstitutional," she said. "It was very clear that these people literally had no place to go."

Ms. Parker devoted considerable court time yesterday to statistics on homelessness and shelter beds in Victoria, gleaned from a series of recent reports and studies.

According to the Victoria Cool Aid Society's 2007 homeless count, there are an estimated 1,500 homeless people in the Capital Region, but only 326 shelter beds during the cold winter months and less than 150 during the summer.

Under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, those who can't find a bed have a constitutional right to sleep in a public place, Ms. Parker said.

The case is the first of its kind in Canada (anybody know whether there are similar international examples?), and represents to me (on a very personal level - not because I possess any constitutional law knowledge) how the law is intended to help those who are most neglected in society. This is exactly the kind of case that motivates me to pursue a law degree...join me as I geekily follow the case.

how I fell in love with a firefly

before my friend left for his fantastic europe trip, he lent me a few DVDs from his collection...just cause. i'm usually the binge type when it comes to movies/TV...but this time around, I just kinda let them sit in my living room. this is partly due to busyness...and life...but also because I didn't totally WANT to watch them.

amongst the DVDs was the first and only season of Firefly. I had heard a lot of great things about the series...and I like Joss Whedon as much as anybody else who grew up watching Buffy. But...sci-fi western? Set way in the future? Spaceship?

Let's just say those were more turn-offs than ons.

During my sick day though, I finally sucked it up and started watching. And guess how long it took for me to fall in love? All of 20 minutes.

Firefly is set in 2517 and follows a rogue crew of nine, led by Captain Mal Reynolds. Mal (Nathan Fillion) and Zoe (The all kinds of awesome Gina Torres who I strongly believe can kick any man's ass) both fought on the losing side of a civil war between the Independents and the central federal government, which goes by "the Alliance". They are now essentially renegades and take on sordid jobs (often for criminals) in order to put food on the table (or spaceship). They are joined by pilot Wash (Zoe's hubby - played by Alan Tudyk), the incredibly hilarious, kind, and genius mechanic Kaylee (Jewel Staite), Shepherd Book (Ron Glass),resident dumbass/macho guy Jayne (Adam Baldwin), Inara (Morena Baccarin) and...Simon and River Tam. The latter two are the ones who drive the main narrative, because they turn out to be fugitives. Their presence on the ship completely jeopardizes the safety of the others...and puts the Alliance on their tail.

I won't go into too much detail here about the plot, but I just want to mention why I loved the series so much. It's essentially a story about the underdogs...the guys that everybody overlooks because they sure won't have a chance to survive. It's about family and loyalty - it's about sticking your neck out for someone else very simply because they are "your crew". Mal, the central character, is for the most part the strong and silent type...but is fiercely loyal and unwilling to cheat in any circumstance. Here's a glimpse:

Simon: How do i know you won’t kill me in my sleep?

Mal: You don’t know me son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed.

Simon: Are you always this sentimental?

Mal: Had a good day.

Simon: You had the Alliance on you … criminals and savages. Half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself. And you’re harboring known fugitives.

Mal: We’re still flying.

Simon: That’s not much.

Mal: It’s enough.

Another aspect that I loved about Firefly was its representation of women. As I mentioned earlier, Zoe is Mal's "wingwoman" and kicks more ass than any of the other male characters combined. She's fierce and proud of it...but this doesn't stop her from having an equally strong relationship with her husband. The interaction between them is so interesting...because she's more dominant while Wash's character is softer and a total sweetheart. It works for them - and is such a pleasure to see on screen. Kaylee, the mechanic on the ship, is yet another strong female character. She's very warm and feminine...and has amazing engineering skills.Inara, who plays a "Companion"(essentially a high end prostitute), actually increases the social/cultural capital that the crew has...and she is again a feisty yet feminine character. Her ongoing romantic tension with Mal brings some of the most heart-wrenching moments in the series...despite intense bickering between the two of them, she is truly Mal's heart and conscience.

What makes Firefly a MUST-SEE is the incredible camaderie between the cast...this is truly a series dedicated to its characters. It's about hope in a dystopic world, and shows how no matter how far in time and space you may travel...everybody still struggles with how to live righteously, and how to love fully.

Here's the closing quote by from the film ("Serenity") that came a little after the show got cancelled (the cult following was so strong for the TV show that a film was born!) In this scene, River asks Mal what the most important part of flying the ship is, and he replies:

Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down tells you she's hurting before she keels. Makes her a home.

reflections on being sick

in the past few days...I've had the great fortune of filling a couple of garbage bags with "wontons"(NOT the delicious kind).
I was really mad at myself for getting sick, especially since I had so much to do. For the first time, I actually worked myself to my physical limit...on Tuesday afternoon, after finishing what felt like a flood of calls (was putting together Father's day prize packages)...I had to tell my producer: "I NEED to go home. I think I might keel over."

This time in June is always a reflective time too. It's the time of year where I force myself to look at where I am and how I've grown...and whether I have been cautious of God's whispers. During these few days of contemplation, I have made one semi-large realization: I'm much less afraid.

I know that sounds like a silly thing to say - and you're probably thinking: what the heck does she mean? I'm naturally introverted and I'm not particularly comfortable with being conversational and being...for a lack of a better word...pushy. Let's just say I'd rather be stepped on than to step.

However, this whole...being the part of a large media corporation...has forced me out of my comfortable bubble. It's taught me that...sometimes, you just gotta pursue what you know is a good story...and yes, that can often consist of me stepping out of my usual "not liking people" comfort zone. And you know what? It's been good. It's actually teaching me to be a more relational person...and it's also building my confidence. Sometimes, you just gotta know that you have the ability to tell a good story...and you just have to follow your heart.

...

Oh crap. I don't remember why I told you about me being sick. I think it probably has to do with how being sick has actually forced me to be more reflective these days...so perhaps all those "wontons" in the garbage bin are a gift from God after all :)

in memoriam

house of God, forever (jon foreman)

God is my shepherd, I won't be wanting, I won't be wanting
He makes me rest in fields of green, of quiet streams
Even while I'm walking through the valley of death and dying
I will not fear cuz You are with me
You're always with me

The shepherd's staff comforts me
You are my feast in the presence of enemies
Surely goodness follows me, follows me
in the house of God, forever

sunday poetry

to lose a friend
is a process
that never goes away

usually undramatic
more so due to forgetfulness
and long delayed phone calls
than any unforgivable sin

but this time
it was different
and I found myself
lonely,
and not knowing why

I can't say that I miss you
because that would be a lie
but I find myself a little lost
at this void you've left in my life

what I find myself missing
are all the carefully encapsulated memories
of laughs, stimulating conversations, and the occasional madness
without all the ugly little details

maybe i'm in need of a reboot

lessons learned "on the street"

in the past couple of weeks, I've had the chance to go out and get what we call..."streeter tape". Let me just say...this makes me appreciate Muchmusic VJs a lot more than I ever thought I would.

Getting streeter tape involves hauling my recording equipment (what looks like a massive tape recorder, headphones, and a mic), and very liberally soliciting people to talk with you. I have not yet constructed a "strategy" yet...but I tend to talk with people who are relaxed (approached a lot of bus people, smokers, and loiterers).
I always needed to be peppy...and playful...but secretly inside, I just hope they won't eat me alive. Or yell at me. Or both.

I have not gotten any eff you's yet...most people who refuse to comment usually do it politely. but boy...I've never had to be so outgoing in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. And I don't even like people!

sunday poetry (making a comeback!)

happiness is

the courage to open up your heart to something new
to give yourself the chance to heal
even when you don't feel up to it

the heavy yet self-assured sigh
before every unfamiliar decision
to remind yourself that you are alive
and worth more than you let yourself to believe

the desire to change
to be transformed and renewed
in mind and soul and body
because every new day is a gift
and life is but a breath