early afternoon in the rain

I deeply love this book - I might have read it through at least 4 times. I won't go into detail again about why I love it, you can find the explanation here! today, I had the opportunity to listen to the extremely talented ruth l. ozeki, meet her briefly, and get her autograph! as poe would attest, I was "giddy like a school girl"...I think she was relieved that she didn't have to disown me after it all. a few interesting things came up during the "word on the street" public event...someone asked her whether she sees herself as an activist, whether her intention in writing these books (about the american beef industry, as well as genetically engineered potatoes) was to spearhead a social movement of sorts. she responded that she identifies herself as a novelist - and as long as her books arouse curiosity and that she herself stays curious - that is all she would ever ask for.

her response made me think about the importance of art and of literature in the grand scheme of advocacy - not everyone needs to be an "activist" (however you may choose to define that), but rather we are all participating in getting information out there for the public to know and be aware of. one role isn't more valuable than the other - we need writers, musicians and filmmakers to inspire us with their creativity, and we also need those who will be tenacious in the fight against issues such as the use of hormones in cattle, whether that's through challenging legislation or protesting peacefully.

now to decide what category I want to fit in...hmmm....can't I have the best of both worlds? ;)

And now, a word from our sponsors...

If you didn’t know already, a short documentary that I made with a friend is currently up on Radio-Canada’s website, as part of their first “Digital Diversity” online competition, which asked young adults, 18-35, to think about immigration issues. There's some seriously awesome talent up on the site right now…and to even be chosen to be displayed amongst them is a great honour. I wanted to take a few moments here to talk about the background of the film conceptually, as many of you have seen it (I hope…and voted for us with your various emails?)…

It was really a crazy idea in the first place. I found out about the contest and thought that maybe we would have something to say about the topic – we were immigrants, after all. We went through quite a few head-scratching meetings talking about what could work – at first, we wanted to do interviews with people…and frankly, I don’t even remember what about. But then I thought – well…what hits home for us? What are our struggles? And ultimately, the subject matter of family came up.

In Chinese culture, “self” and “family” can be two of the same…Chinese identity is deeply rooted in family. The vision of the film was to show how family relationships have everything to do with how well people adjust to the “identity crisis” caused by immigration – when you’re learning from each other, being mutually supportive…that’s where growth happens and that’s how people adjust and embrace a different (but also not so different way of life).

Part of me is sad that we couldn’t have made a longer film – there was some more great footage, and again, I think it needs to be said that we couldn’t have made it without the bravery and openness of the featured family – to them, we owe all credit! It was really something just observing their conversations with one another – and it was personally encouraging to me to see the strength of their relationships with one another.

If you haven’t checked the film out already, here are the instructions once again:

1) Go to http://www.rcinet.ca/rci/en/concours.asp
2) Press "Launch the Site"
3) On the left column, under "Watch this week's finalists"(it's in red), you'll find our film (third from the end) as you roll over the different people with signs.
4) After viewing the film, please take the time to "rate the film" (that's the voting part!). When you press on "rate the film", you'll be asked to validate the address. This simply means checking your email and confirm to Digital Diversity that yours is not a spam address. Then, you'll be able to go back and actually rate the film!

Note to Hotmail users: The confirmation email will land in your Junk Mail. So please check that=)

pattern recognition

people always say that hindsight is 20/20...and it's a rather sad statement, really. there's a sense of defeat that permeates it...an inherent "nothing can be done because it's already happened" attitude. it saddens me particularly when I think about the impact of katrina, the rwandan genocide, the vietnam war, and the many more devastations that could have been avoided or the consequences lessened if only there was willpower and humility on the part of stakeholders.

I've been following the ongoing protests in Burma/Myanmar since the beginning of the news coverage internationally, and it's dawned on me how history is a process rather than something to look back on. it's strange to be living it, and realizing that we will probably not recognize its significance until years later...where people will mourn, and say with some dismay, "if only..."

I think I might be confusing you at this point, but perhaps let me put it like this:

in reading about Burma, and the monks' struggle to speak out against the country's militarist and dictatorial regime, I'm reminded of history makers like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela, and certainly Aung San Suu Kyi...whose choice in remaining under house arrest for decades as a sign of protest continues to give hope to the Burmese population. The violence that is being thrashed upon the monks reminds me of the Tiananmen Square protests, and in more recent years, the protests in Montreal and Seattle re: the WTO.

reading the news is a very passive process - here I sit in my office, catching up with bbcnews.com, and history is in the making all around the world. burma has made me think about the need for urgency - instead of lamenting about past failures in bringing about peace and justice to our world, there is a demand to be pursuing it now...because oppression and injustice is happening at this very moment. instead of waiting for the 20/20 hindsight, there's a need to pursue the best sight possible at this moment, or it will soon be too late.

I'm not there - Trailer

To continue my trend of posting trailers that are new and exciting - Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan! What's more exciting than that?

After watching "Don't look back", I've had a fascination with Dylan's mystique - to me, he's the epitome of "cool"...one of the few people who can step into a room and demand silence...can't wait!

things that bring a smile on my face

the sight of bright coloured ceramic coffee cups
the brief yet intense moment of carefree-ness before I wake up
an umbrella in the rain

the little mittens a baby wears to not scratch himself
baby shoes, baby jackets
babies wrapped in animal outfits

grammatical mistakes
on menus
'pork dumpings' doesn't sound too delicious

stolen glances
an eager mouth waiting to speak
a furrowed brow under the sun

lost in transit

"For relaxing times, make it NOT 98 B-Line"

There’s always so much to say about transit that I don’t know where to start. Rather than rant and be angry about certain types of behaviour, I’d like to approach things with a Socratic manner…ask some questions, see where it leads, and hopefully have something slightly meaningful to say…but heck, who am I kidding? This is so going to be a rant.

Caution: Designated Seating

No matter how many times it happens, I still get pissed everything I see someone take a designated seat (the seats @ the front of the bus, meant for seniors, mothers/soon-to-be mothers, mobility-challenged folks) leaving someone who actually needs it standing (e.g frail looking grandma). I really think it’s a reflection of just how bad your character is when you do that…I wouldn’t want to be friends with a person who comfortably plops down on a designated seat while a gray-haired grandma is left holding on to dear life.

Caution: Guys who budge old ladies, grandpas, and young girls into getting a seat are EXTREMELY UNATTRACTIVE.

WHO DOES THAT? Imagine this: the bus is filled up to the brim with tired bodies cramped into a seriously awkward and really kinda gross social situation, and clearly there are people who are struggling with holding on to the bars. when a seat is made available, I can only assume that it's kosher to ask the old ladies/grandpas/young girls first whether they would like to sit down. but NOOOOOO....more than 5 times have I see perfectly sturdy men climb over other ppl to get a seat...whatever happened to the term COURTESY? Maybe we are living in an age where chivalry is dead.

Anyways...I've yelled enough...I'll throw you the baton to tell me your favourite transit horror stories.

21 ways to shuffle an ipod - birthday reflections

And keep your arms open wide
Don’t say no to anyone
But keep your heart safe inside
Don’t let go to anyone
And raise above the trials of love

You are golden
You are golden, child
You are golden
Don't let go, don't let go tonight

It was a perfectly ugly day outside - armed with nothing more than my frail little coat, the rain sprinkled on my head and all I could think about was how I wished the sun would shine just a little while. on days like this, our affections for individualism hits us in the head like a baseball bat - all we want now is simply for someone to tell us they care. And yet it is hard for us to love, hard for us to leave ourselves hanging, and much easier to be bitter, angry, and sad. I then begin to think about our forgiven nature, how we've been made in the image of God, and how His grace is sufficient for us. in our forgiven nature, we are demanded to love, even at the cost of our own strength and power. in fact, weakness is the only path we should be taking. in light of these things, I'm at peace...no frills or fanfare will ever satisfy what already has been accomplished - I'm a forgiven child of God and He will never let me go.

I watched "The Upside to Anger" yesterday and liked it, strangely enough. I was especially touched by the quotes I stole from the film in my last post, as it reminded me of the senseless nature of anger, and how it can just consume us. once I give in to the fury - then it's over...its tidal wave-like nature sweeps me within and all I can do is let myself drown in it. no coming up for air...with anger, I just let it suffocate me.

I realize that moving on is difficult - anger is addictive after all, and all we need is a small dose to get us going, but it can also be a catalyst to something greater. when we choose to take that leap and forgive, reconcile, open our eyes to new possibilities and ways of living, we are also coming up for air. our survival skills become all the more developed, and the next time we meet anger, we are a bit more ready to fight.

People don't know how to love. They bite rather than kiss. They slap rather than stroke. Maybe it's because they recognize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible... unworkable, an exercise of futility. So they avoid it and seek solace in angst, and fear, and aggression, which are always there and readily available. Or maybe sometimes... they just don't have all the facts.

Anger and resentment can stop you in your tracks. That's what I know now. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life that it swallows and smothers. It's real, though - the fury, even when it isn't. It can change you... turn you... mold you and shape you into something you're not. The only upside to anger, then... is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they're not afraid to take the journey, someone that knows that the truth is, at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits, and in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm. Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

- The Upside to Anger (Written and Directed by Mike Binder, Media 8 Entertainment)

my affection of Quebec is epitomized by...

The Poutine - The Holy Grail of Canadian Cuisine

I don't know if I would love this Canadian food staple if I hadn't grown up in Montreal, but when I look at that photo, my stomach automatically yearns to be caressed by those oily fries, meaty gravy, and soft cheese curds. It's been a long time since I've had a REAL poutine...mostly because I can't justify it as a meal and also because good poutine around here is hard to find. I was compelled to write this entry after doing one of the mental gym exercises for the Test the Nation: Watch your language thingermagigger... ("A for Astute" by the way! Muahahaha...), which asked about the origins of poutine. Apparently, according to the ever-trustful Wikipedia, the dish began with someone who had ordered fries and was waiting for cheese curds and decided it would be brilliant to combine the two...

There are so many kinds of poutine, but the one that caught my eye involved peas and shredded chicken. That may sound hella nasty to some of you...but to me, it smells of my Chinois-Quebecois childhood. At school, one of the cafeteria specials was a hot chicken sandwich...essentially shredded chicken between two slices of white bread and gravy and peas all over it. MMMMMmmmm=) Pure heart-clogging goodness.

Speaking of foods of my childhood...here's a question for ya: What is Pate (insert appropriate punctuations) Chinois? - No Googling!

my fall movie preview

I’m excited about several movies coming out this fall, which leads me to feature some of the trailers right here…The “Across the Universe” trailer sends chills down my spine – it’s THAT good…I actually am not super excited about the film itself, but the trailer is simply magnificent…when those first notes of “Hey, Jude” hit my ears – I go to my happy place.

the daily grind

There’s a lot to be excited about in the fall (September/October) – birthdays, documentary launching on the Radio-Canada website (don’t worry, I will be spamming all of you through email in a week or so – “Family”(the short film) will be playing on the site from September 24-30), getting to hear Ruth Ozeki and Naomi Klein (Which reminds me I should read the book before going…but, HARDCOVER! Me…too…frugal), and other exciting things @ Pivot and SoJ. And oh yeah, starting a new full-time job.

Although I feel like I SHOULD be excited, the reality of the situation is that all that’s going through my head is:
1) What’s in the fridge that I can use?
2) Are there enough healthy snacks around?
3) When do I need to grocery shop?
4) Laundry – Check, Garbage disposal – Check…
5) And most importantly…what to cook?!? (Which reminds me: Tree, I was quite impressed that you made coleslaw! From scratch! That’s pretty cool.)

Right now, I’m feeling like I’m just trying to juggle…and sooner or later, it’s going to hit me that I need to do some major rehauling on how I spend my time (Forget the new TV season, let’s just say that much…) Is it time to scratch blogging altogether? Hahaha…who am I kidding…this is my daily distraction at work.

Me or the thought of me?

I have the unfortunate task of quoting John Mayer as an introduction to this entry…but what the heck, this isn’t a sermon…it’s just a blog ;) Not a significant lyricist by any means, but he’s got it so right when he asks: “Who do you love, me or the thought of me?”

I’ve thought about this a lot, and even in hindsight, my perspective is less than 20/20. When you begin to be interested in someone, are you really interested in who they are or do you simply find the “idea” of them attractive? Girls like to say that some guys are good on paper…and indeed, are we living in a society where ‘good on paper’ is all we need to get by? When glancing at a man’s resume, are “Looks”, “Reputation”, and “Career” all that we need to see?

It’s certainly easy to get carried away by a guy’s resume, so to speak, and it happens too often that our imagination gets the best of us. My personal weakness is faulty assumption-making: since this person treats their friends like this, this surely is the way in which he will treat me....right?

A different perspective to this “me or the thought of me” problem is (this applies to both men and women more generally than what I discussed above), does a person’s interest in you garner them extra brownie points in the game of attraction? If you aren’t revolted by them in any measure, do they become more attractive once you know that they are attracted to you? At the crux of the question is - when looking for love, are we just hoping to share affection or are we wanting to find someone genuinely compatible (given that there is such a thing) for us?

Two very different questions to ponder...but feel free to ponder aloud!

a womrballicious update (title by butterball)

Hii =)

So my first week at high school (JN Burnett Secondary) has finished. I think during the night of my first "real" day of high school, I was already complaining to my friend about missing elementary school. I do miss it alot because everyone is in the same room the entire day and you don't have to walk around as much, and you can get really close with your friends.

High school sucks.

This kid from my old school called Nuri stuffed himself in a locker, which is really small if you've seen the lockers at this school. We closed the little door and everything and he fit right in, and people were crowding around him. He was just stuffing and un-stuffing himself over and over again. We also found something in a band locker that shall be left unsaid. @_@

Butterball here:

Hahaha...I totally guessed what was in the band locker right away. leaving it unsaid...is a good thing. I tried to convince Iris to share with you her theory about that particular brian mcknight song...but alas, she is unwilling to tell all ya'll about it.

lazy saturday morning

time: 0900 hours
location: in bed
position: curled up like a wombat under my futon
listening to: the new tina dico album

sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slow
sometimes if you want to hold on, you gotta let go

i'm going to close my eyes and count to ten...
i'm going to close my and when I open them again, everything will make sense to me then.

dear mom

the past two years haven't been easy
and yet I've easily become so good at being angry
giving weight to meaningless disputes
always ready to retaliate

as you helped me paint my nails tonight
this seemingly innocuous act
an overpowering guilt flooded me over
revealing my unfairness towards you

too easily I've let my anger steep
too easily I've forgotten
the multiple acts of love
you've bestowed me over the years

although you often frighten me still
with your complete and utter wackiness
and sporadic surprise phone calls

with your philippino english
LOUDNESS
and disregard for people's ability to hear you speak

I will try to remember that
you are one of the strongest people I've ever known
who loves me still (and that counts)
and will never cease to

so...this is what telemarketing is like.

Wow...I spent a large chunk of today making phone calls. I see it as practice for phone etiquette - but dear God, please let me do something more interesting soon! (It was good that I was also reassured of this.)

The spectrum of people that one meets while conversing on the phone is never bound to bore - one of the observations I made is that 99% of people I talked to were female. I suppose this is due to the gender-specific nature of "receptionist" work: even though we don't say secretary anymore, it doesn't make this field of work any less...feminine?

Some were genuinely kind, some gave me the third degree, and most were just apathetic. I suppose I shouldn't expect much from a conversation involving the confirmation of fax numbers and addresses. It got me thinking about the best ways to converse with a stranger on the phone - do I tell them my name or just my organization? Do I ask "how are you"? Do I end with a simple "Thanks for your help! Bye!" or adorn the farewell with "Have a nice day/Take care"?
What constitutes excellent phone etiquette? Or do I just need a sexy phone voice?

Ah yes. Silly thoughts to get me through the day. Tomorrow, I'll get Wormball to write about how insanely illogical Brian McKnight's "Back to One" is. Tune in!

The Office - Summer Vacation

To the funniest show on NBC,

You are almost back! How I have missed thee...the laughs, the tears, the yelping for joy due to the awesomeness that is JAM. The fall looks promising - Ah, Pam with her hair down (30% more unpredictable! That made me laugh out loud!), Kevin being Kevin...and Dwight being as creepy as usual! September 27 - I have circled the date!