growth

I've been thinking about commitment a lot these past few days - I've had the opportunity to look at my life and reflect about the different areas in which my time is being spent, and have begun to think about whether I've been growing. This is a brutally difficult process, since it almost feels like I'm evaluating my relationships with friends - in order to be completely honest, it always ends up hurting.

there's an area in my life that I'm no longer sure about; I don't know completely why my heart sinks when I think about it...my tummy tightens and I feel nervous all over. Perhaps it's because it's a part of my life that really tests my confidence and pride (or the lack of it), and God is constantly telling me "Just let me work, child". It's a constant battle.

However, I think the real reason behind these yucky feelings is that I don't really feel like I'm growing...and that there is little growth or greater aspirations tied to this part of my life. I have no doubt that I love it...but somehow, I feel stuck in the stagnancy of the status quo.

sorry for the vagueness folks...