limbo? purgatory?

for the past week or so, I've had the chance to really do nothing...and it's gotten me thinking about how much I'm dependent on productivity and busy schedules to measure my self-worth. It's weird to suddenly stop and realize...hey, I really don't have much going on in my life...is that ok? Am I a failure?

I'm usually of the sort that has her agenda fairly laid out and filled - there is always more reading, more studying, more grocery shopping, more cleaning - and I feel almost a little helpless in my position right now...vulnerable.

I'm obviously still working through this...the feeling of vulnerability, not knowing what my summer will look like and hold. in other ways, this is liberating...because who knows what God may have in store? I'm starting to come to terms with the "void", as it's giving me more time to reflect on my relationships, passions, and what kind of person I want to be. I have to admit though, I also feel a bit exasperated...like I'm grasping at air.