contemplative sundays (they always seem to be...)

it's funny...when I can't write, I resort to poetry...but today, I can't seem to even find the words. I feel such a fragmentation in who I am - it's the tension I think, yet again, between who I am and who I could be.

sometimes, I feel like I'm a little too serious to be taken seriously...if that makes any sense. It's the sensation of fighting for air when everything that surrounds seems to lack it - grasping at the little that's left and finding myself wanting to give up.
this tension, this entrapment, always leads me to my knees. it reminds me to put my hope in God alone and in nothing else...He alone shatters all fears, all anxieties, all uncertainty.

I am still coming to terms with just how much I'm loved by the Lord above, and how to let myself be sheltered by it.

"If we only got one shot, if we only got one life, if time was never on our side, then before I die I want to burn out bright..."