the "plus one" factor

a friend and I were chatting last night, and we got to talking about the "plus one" factor. we started talking about whether we are comfortable being who we are around our friends, and we both came to the conclusion that it is only in our closest relationships that we are able to be at ease and not feel pressured to "fill in the blanks" during the conversation. (I know this seems to be "common sense", but I do believe that certain people are just better endowed with social skills + are more confident in themselves)

the "plus one" factor refers to the need to step it up a notch in a social situation - whether that's trying to prevent any silence in the conversation, shooting out witty remarks, or asking questions that you wouldn't otherwise care to ask. the "plus one" factor can also manifest through physical gesturing - perhaps you begin to nod your head to show that you agree, or you gently pat that person on the arm to affirm your attention.=)

the reasons to apply the "plus one" factor can generally be divided in the following three categories:

1) You are speaking to an authority figure - this may be within work/school context, where you desire to be viewed with a certain amount of respect (which pretty much means you REALLY DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT)

2) You do not want to appear inferior to the person you are speaking to - this may occur within the context of fellow students or colleagues...you don't know them well, but also wish to appear likable and fairly intelligent. this again comes down to respect.

3) You are insecure - this may occur if you wish to impress a person (maybe someone you find attractive?) and in the midst of your heart pitter-pattering and instances of blushing, you really want to find a topic which would spark good, enthusiastic responses from the person. the "plus one" is therefore applied to help further the conversation as much as possible - in the hopes that they might like you back.

anyways...just random thoughts ;)