entitlement

I was recently rereading an article written by a friend for our church newsletter (coming out July 1st!) and I'm still struck by a particular statement that she makes about the past 10 years in her life. She brings up her "five-year plan" and having things all laid out for the future...and it appears all well and good until the question arises: "But...is it God's plan?"

I find myself in that predicament these days. I have these grand ideas about the future - I want to work in communications for a bit, I want to get into law school, I want to be able to attend a law school that will have a human rights branch, I want to...change the world.
Maybe this is the tricky part about being involved in social justice work - it really means battling your ego and coming to a place of humility and servitude. This isn't MY work, this is God's work. I find myself feeling entitled to certain things...surely God will want me to do human rights work...surely He'll pave the way! But with that kind of attitude, I realize, am I really LETTING God work?

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

I fell upon this familiar passage today...and in it I hear God beckoning me to Him...I feel Him saying "Child, just come close to me...let me guide...and I will show you the Way". I'm also becoming more aware that I need to recognize daily the darkness and vulnerability that is very much a part of me even though I like to think otherwise. Beauty in the broken, right?