and a happy thanksgiving to all...

happy canadian thanksgiving!

when i was a little girl (and i probably still am, i suppose), I used to listen to this radio show called "Children's Time" (Siu Peng Yao See Gan), which included programming that varied from day to day (my favourite was radio theatre), as well as mandarin lessons and storytelling. I LOVED this show, and we have about a hundred tapes chockful of its goodness. Even when we moved to Montreal, my brother and I would listen to the tapes: one of my fondest memories is of us with our "airplane style" lunches our mom prepared for us (due to the fact that we owned a vietnamese restaurant at the time), and we would eat on my bed while listening to the show.
Since our move to this current house (I used to live in the one mile radius...really really close to the Wongs, actually), I have been unable to locate these tapes. Just the other day however, as I crawled through my mom's old tape collection, I found a few of these recordings.

To my surprise, the tapes contained more than the radio show. Apparently, when I was about 4 years old, I LOVED the sound of my own voice (some may argue that I still do). I used to tape myself reading english words...and my mom would guide me along the way. The most hilarious part ws that I could not pronounce "S" and "R" sounds... "Pencil" sounded like "Pentil"...and numbers sounded like "One, Two, Fee, Fo, Five, Tix, Teven"...

Not my brightest moment, as you might realize. However, as I listened to the recording, I was struck by something altogether different. I thought to myself...has it already been 16 years? I don't feel all that far from that little girl's voice (which very much sounded like me...especially when you get to the singing part)...except for the fact that I really miss the sound of my mom's voice. Her cackling, which would develop into a sweeter tone....and her reassurance that I was saying the words "correctly", sounded so wonderful to me. If I could capture that moment in time, and the feelings embedded within it...I felt like I would be ok.

As I reminisced, I realized that what we try to capture and keep; the nostalgia of it all...is simply temporary. No matter what, we would have to continue living...the day to the day present...and reach for the future's embrace while loving the "right now".