a beautiful day

today was one of those perfectly careless days (and also snerk's bday! hope you're having a splendid & lazy one!) where my goal was to do nothing :) yesterday, I handed in my near 30 pager of a report...and dang, it feels good to be done. and proud of the work.

turns out today was also one of those gorgeous vancouver days where you really do forget that the rain loves our city. I spent the morning watching a few episodes of 'how I met your mother', and then headed out with the wormball for some careless fun. (apparently, our idea of fun is going to the library...and steveston too, but still)
when we got back, I started reading richard yates' "revolutionary road" and then went for a walk on river road...which is why i'm blogging in the first place.

while on my walk, I started thinking about growing up. the last few weeks have been tumultuous, full of great highs and great lows...and some serious reflective writing sessions. I feel like everything that's happened in the last 3 weeks could have taken the span of at least a few months...and the fast forwarding motion can't help but force me to grow up, at least a little. I remember that a couple of years back, I teased about turning 30 years old on my bday instead of 20...but beyond housekeeping chores, finances, being responsible for the well being of others (which I suppose were all things that made me feel 30), what does it mean to be growing up?

i've come to the realization that it might have something to do with the holy spirit. in my everyday existence, I consistently come to crossroads, as we each do while making decisions. for the majority of the time, it's quite clear what God would want...and yet I may make a different choice. maybe "growing up" is in those moments where you acknowledge your desire to make the poorer choice, but you choose God's call instead. I feel like all decisions may come down to whether we strive to be open-handed or not - whether that's in how we choose to spend our money, how we treat those around us, or how we use our time. perhaps listening to the spirit's call and being obedient is the true measure of growing up...