a good cry

the other night, after a spat with someone, I couldn't sleep. I do very poorly with letting things go and am VERY good at staying upset for an extended period of time. I had school the next day but just couldn't get myself to fall asleep...the spat was consuming every part of me and I felt so...paralyzed. I didn't want to do anything other than sulk in my misery and I just couldn't get it out...so I tried to cry. Wow...it's a weird experience trying to cry; I wanted so desperately to get the tears out of my system but it barely worked...in the end, I wrote about it and prayed...there was just nothing in my power I could do.

fast forward to today.

I hate it when little things go wrong. I was cooking earlier and as I began to wash the dishes, I realized that the drains weren't going at the proper speed. when I used the garburator (sp?), a bunch of crap (not literally) came out of the other sink. I just stared at my my double sink for a while...shocked and dismayed at its betrayal. the phone then began to ring, and I was semi-relieved to hear my mom's voice on the other line. as I began to tell her about the drainage issue, I started to cry. (don't worry...my mom is used to these weird instances) I just couldn't hold it in any longer...the remnants of the spat the other night, days of overproductivity, feelings of inadequacy and loneliness....a little thing going wrong managed to enact the domino effect and all the tears came falling down. And gosh...when little things go wrong, the emptiness I feel without my mom around just gets exacerbated.

*sigh*...a good cry is often just blocked drain away.