coffee-induced words on a saturday afternoon

relentlessly insecure and prone to disappointment
I wander on this winding road
hoping that someday the path will take me somewhere new
somewhere I can call home

with already written responses and questions
we speak
this charade that we bring to life
hoping that someone, someday
would reveal the fallacy of our theatrics

the comfort is there
unarguably
there are jokes and laughs that echo
there is the proverbial helping hand
but are we only kidding ourselves?

it's hard for me to reveal my weaknesses
even more difficult for you to be vulnerable
the conversation
begins and ends
with the visible
what is above ground

i had always hoped that
despite our dependence on what is seen
we would somehow uncover the earth underneath
at some point

perhaps it's just me
that chooses not to see
the truth in these fallacies we commit
together
you are always so good
at pretending that everything is just like I hope they'd be

but alas, I think I know better
than to wander on this winding road with you
because at the end of this path
will not be the comfort of a home