how precious is the flow...

i'm at a loss for words; my body is tired and my head is hurting.
the past little while has been constant running around, constant drive...my life sounds like a 6/8 song that demands rhythmic consistency from every instrument.
on this easter, a day where christ is risen, where we acknowledge the wonderful power of the cross, i'm at a loss of words.

it is a strange mixture of awe, emptiness, and desire for more than this life.

your blood speaks a better word than all the empty claims i've heard upon this earth
speaks righteousness for me, stands in my defense
jesus, it's your blood
what can wash away our sin, what can make us whole again
nothing but the blood of jesus
how precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow
no other fount i know
nothing but the blood of jesus...

christ's sacrifice, the greatest story ever told, continually astounds me as i ponder upon it. our atonement paid for, our ransom fulfilled...the "bad credit" we've accumulated for all of our lives simply made white as snow. as i stand in awe of this life restored for me, i cannot but come to terms with my own emptiness.

a friend told me the other night that the word "life" appears over forty times in the Word of God. Jesus was hinting all along that He alone is the life, the truth and the way...when we offer up our lives to Him...when we make the commitment to follow Him...what we in fact do is let Him live our lives. What does this look like? What does this mean?

the past term, i've had the fortune to learn about some amazing things. one particular moment struck me the most: in political economy of communication, chris (our prof) was talking about the emergence of silicon valley, and the working conditions of those who are considered "menial labour" in the info tech industry. the city core is the intellectual elite, the powerful and the rich, while fringe cities, like east palo alto, suffer the consequences of this segregation. the industry itself is racially segregated, with mostly hispanic and vietnamese working as "hard labour" (putting actual computer parts together) and the management being nearly all caucasian. the working conditions are dangerous; everyday hard labourers are exposed to hazardous chemicals and unsafe machines. near the end, we watched a documentary on this, and i could not help but cry. (to those who say that i cry all the time anyway...shut up!)

something clicked.

my heart hurt...i just didn't feel right. it's not like this is something new...many would say, "well, that kind of thing happens all the time...what's the big deal?"..
you know what? IT IS A BIG DEAL. i refuse to let other people's suffering not be a "big deal" and simply shake it off...this kind of "conscience nudging" should always be felt.
at the end of the class, as koo and i were walking to the bus stop...we couldn't help but talk about what we had learned. she said something along the lines of "this sucks. all that we study...it's depressing. it all seems hopeless"...i nodded my head...and surely she was right. everything that we have been studying so far has been fairly... "depressing"...but maybe this is also God calling us towards something.

"all we can do...is to do our part and try to change something. it doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be lavish...but just something. if we don't, that's on our own asses", i said to her...which propelled us to discuss further about what that change means.

i think what we concluded with...was that this field of study is a way in which God is molding us. how can we, as Christians, having committed to carrying the cross, not help bear the burden of what we have learned? the inequities, injustice, consequences of our capitalist society...cannot just be "shaken off".

to be continued...